"I mean, sometimes I hate interviews because I always feel like I sound stupid." - Aubrey Plaza
I actually came across these questions on Buzzfeed like a week ago but I loved them so much & thought about how different this whole interview process would be for me if these types of questions were asked rather than "what's the difference between a good teacher & an excellent teacher?" So here it is.
I is for Interview
1. “How would you market spoiled milk?”
I would market it as baking milk (although I'm not quite sure that that's legit & I am such a freak about milk...I've smelled/tasted spoiled milk one too many times.)
2.“How much meat can you stuff in this bag?”
...I don't know what size bag we're talkin here...
3. “You’re trapped in a blender with no equipment… how do you get out?”
I would charge the walls super fast or get it to rock back & forth somehow until I could tip it over & get myself out.
4. “Do you make the bed every morning?”
I hardly ever make my bed. It feels more comforting to me when it's a little messed up...like a nest... Plus, I'm just going to crawl back into it in less than 24 hours anyway & I live alone so it's not like anyone is going to see it. (I feel like that probably says a lot about me in a negative way...)
5. “If you were any object in a kitchen what would you be and why?”
6. “At first glance, what do you hate about me?”
...I don't have a person to look at to answer this...
7. “If you could have any celebrity parents, alive or dead, who would they be?”
Is none an option? I have never in my life wanted to have famous parents.
8. “What was the best song of the decade?”
It made me a little sad to realize that the decade is now 2004-2014...anywho, this shouldn't be any surprise. "Springsteen" - Eric Church. It has been my favorite song since July 2011... I don't think it's going to change anytime soon.
9. “If you were a character from Saved By The Bell, based on your personality, behavior, and work ethic, who would you be?”
Kelly Kapowski. She was smart, bubbly, & kind without being an over the top control freak like Jessie. I feel like Lisa was portrayed as too much of an air head sometimes for me to identify with her.
10. “How do you feel about the Iran nuclear situation, and is it or is it not hypocritical of the US to make them disarm when we will not?”
I do feel like they should disarm but I also feel it's hypocritical of the US to try & force it upon them. Honestly, I love America & I will be the first to annouce my love of country...but sometimes we just need to stay the fuck out.
11. “How many people do you think voted in the last election?”
125 million (about half the population) & for the record the answer is 126 million...
12. “Pick a jelly bean. What does the colour of the jelly bean represent to you?”
I hate jelly beans. Just picking a color to represent me I would pick blue because it's my favorite color & I feel like it's calming & I've always been the friend that people turn to when they are in trouble or need someone to listen.
13. “How many basketballs do you think can fit into this room?”
...again with the not knowing how big the room is...
14. “What’s your favorite type of vodka?”
I pretty much stopped drinking Vodka in college. My favorite type of whiskey however is Jack Daniels.
15. “What’s in the trunk of your car right now?”
Super Nintendo, 3 or 4 Super Nintendo games, a softball glove, jumper cables, an ice scraper (I live in TX why do I still have that??) & a small box of random stuff from when I switched to my old car to my new one.
16. “If you were a scented marker, what would you smell like?”
I always loved the blueberry marker...and now I really wish I had those scented markers...
17. “Who would win in a fight: a shark or an alligator?”
What kinda shark are we talkin here? Great White...the the Great White. Nurse shark? The alligator? How big is the shark? How big is the gator? Does the gator know he can punch the shark in the nose? Can gators punch? Are they on land or out in the ocean? Can gators even get far out into the ocean?
18. “Why are manhole covers round?”
Because the manholes are round...which I assume is because it's easier for objects & people to get down than if there are straight edges...
19. “Do you hang your toilet paper roll over or under the toilet roll holder?”
Over & if you do it under you are wrong.
20. “If I were to look in your CD player right now what CD would I find?”
My car has a 6 CD changer sooo: Thomas Rhett, Tyler Farr, Brantley Gilbert, Keith Urban, #5 is the one I change out most so I'm not quite sure what it is at the moment, Eric Church.
21. “Do you want to build a snowman?”
It's April & I live in TX so no...I don't even want the opportunity to build a snowman. Pretty sure if I were back in MN I'd be so over snow at this point that I would just get crabby if someone asked that kind of question.
22. “If you were a cereal, which cereal would you be?”
Lucky Charms...cause I'm magically delicious...jk They're just my favorite.
23. “What kind of vegetable do you aspire to be?
Is an avocado a vegetable? Cause those are da bomb.
24. “What do you think about?” (That’s it.)
I think a lot about the future, & my next adventure, & if I'm ever going to find true love, & how it's going to be trying to raise kids 1300 miles away from my entire family.
25. “How would you go about trying to find a needle in a haystack?”
A giant magnet...ACME style.
26. “What is your favorite color combination?”
Sunflower yellow & cornflower blue.
27. “Who is your favorite Disney villain?”
28. And “Do you feel like you wasted time going to a university to end up interviewing here?”
Considering I only ever interview for teaching jobs & that's what I went to college for...no. I find myself grateful for even getting an interview.