Monday, April 18, 2011

Drama Drama Drama

"Let's start at the very beginning.  A very good place to start."  Sorry haha just watched The Sound of Music the other day and since this story is a doosie... the beginning is a good place to start.  Thanks for the suggestion Frauline Maria.

Nearly two years ago in the summer of 2009, July of 2009 to be exact, one of my best friends and I headed out on a road trip to Colorado.  I suppose July isn't exactly where the story begins but I don't recall exactly when we decided we were bound & determined to go on a road trip.  Our original plan was to head to El Paso.  I was down.  I had never been there before & she apparently loved the place.  A little while later though it turns out one of her cousins is getting married.  Ok new plan of action.  Our new road trip plan is to drive down to El Paso still & then up to Colorado in time for the wedding.  I'm still down just not as down.  Meeting a bunch of extended family wasn't exactly my idea of an awesome road trip.  But hey it was only for the wedding & it was still a road trip.  A little while later the plan changes once again.  She wants to get to Colorado earlier & so there just wasn't enough time for both.  At this point, I was definitely on the not so down side.  I had never been to Colorado though, she was excited, & I had the travel bug bad so I still agreed.

So on Tuesday July 28th, 2009 we pack up my car & set out for Colorado.  We spent our first night in Omaha.  The next day the plan is to drive to Denver & stay the night there before crossing the mountains the next day to reach the wedding destination.  Once again though plans changed.  We still got to Denver don't get me wrong but my friend wanted to meet her cousin for dinner.  I was not thrilled; it was getting late and I didn't want to meet cousin for dinner, especially not when it was out of the way, I still wasn't completely thrilled that so much of our trip was going to be with her family already, and we would be seeing him the next day anyway.  I know I know I sound like a complete bitch.  Honestly I was just unprepared to handle him.  I had never met him before and he was her favorite cousin so I was completely nervous because in my mind I was basically going to be a third wheel in a long overdue family reunion.  But being the awesome friend I was I sucked it up told her to tell him ok & headed to Fort Collins instead. 

Wouldn't it be completely romantic if I said that the second I saw him I was done for?  Not the case.  Dinner was fine.  It wasn't awkward and I managed to be my charming, smart ass, goofy self despite the fact that I had never met this person before.  (In most cases, man or woman, I'm usually pretty shy & quiet when I first meet someone.)  After dinner we headed to Denver as planned.  He wasn't even a thought in my head; especially since it was pretty darn late at this time, I wasn't exactly sure where I was going, it was raining, and oh yeah my driver side windshield wiper decided to stop working ha.  The next day we were set to head over the mountains to the other side of the state.  The plan was to follow Ryan since we weren't going to be using the directions I had for reasons that I don't remember.  However, you guessed it, plans changed.  There were some flight issues with my friend's mom.  So we headed out on our way & then ended up meeting him somewhere along the way to follow him.  Fast forward through the rest of the time in Colorado because this isn't really supposed to be an overview of the trip.  We spent a total of 3 nights in Colorado & that was it.  I was in love with EVERYTHING.  I loved the state, I loved her family, & no I am not about to be overly dramatic & say I loved Ryan but I definitely didn't want to leave because there was a part of me that was really starting to like the kid.  But life must go on so we were on our way home again.

At the time I tried to blame my "feelings" on the fact that Branden & I had broken up and I was just trying to project myself onto someone else.  Realistically though we had broken up nearly 8 months prior & I had talked to plenty of guys in between so it wasn't like he was my first male encounter after a fresh break-up.  I came home, Branden wanted to get back together, I went back & forth over the idea, & in the end decided that I would regret it more in the long run if I didn't give us another shot.  So we got back together.  Ryan & I became facebook friends & started talking, a lot.  It was pretty close to daily for quite awhile.  Even when it slowed down it was usually still multiple times a week.  I ignored everything because Branden & I were back together & at the time I wasn't admitting to myself that I had actual feeling for the kid anyway.  He was just a fun person to talk to.

Fast forward to a year later to the summer of 2010.  Ryan is in MN for a family reunion & tells me I should come see him. What do I do?  Come up with some lame ass excuse as to why I can't because in reality I have a boyfriend & in the back of my mind I do know that I like the kid and I just felt like it wasn't right to go see some boy that you have feelings for, even if absolutely nothing would have happened, when you have a boyfriend.  Then lets fast forward just a little bit more to sometime before October but I'm not really sure how far before October; all I know is Ryan & his girlfriend started dating before Branden & I broke up in mid-October.  Anyway, Ryan likes this girl who is basically giving him the run around & I try my hardest to talk him through it & tell him to give her time (she had recently gotten out of a long-term relationship) and that she would hopefully come around; because once again I'm in a relationship that I don't know is soon ending & am not admitting my feelings to myself about him anyway.  So they start dating & we basically stop talking. 

Let me take a time out for a second to just say that is one of my biggest pet peeves in the entire world.  I don't care if you're a great friend or just a kind of friend.  When you get a boyfriend/girlfriend do not cut out the rest of the world & stop talking to your friends.  It's dumb & in the end it's probably going to bite you in the ass.

Anyway, now the only time we really talk is when he comes on & is complaining about how much drama she is blah blah blah.  Once again, I try to make him see it from her side and/or just let him vent about it.  Somewhere in this time frame is when my roommates & I get the awesome idea to go on a road trip, not just any road trip, a Man v. Food road trip.  Our destinations were to be: KC, Amarillo, & Boulder.  One day I decide "hey!  Ryan doesn't live too far & staying with him would be way cheaper + haven't seen him in awhile"  So I send him a message on Facebook asking but telling him straight up if it's not cool with the gf don't even worry about it because I completely get that & don't wanna cross any lines that would make her upset, even though I've never met the girl and all I know is she is supposedly drama.  But we get the clear & after a long time it's all set. 

This was another point in time when I was extremely annoyed at him.  We were trying to plan things & he wouldn't respond.  It finally came down to literally the day I was about to delete him out of my phone he replied back saying it was no problem & we could stay with him.  It was after that that we started talking more again, not nearly as much but we weren't going weeks upon weeks without talking.  But then about a week before we are about to leave for our trip he computer broke so for some reason he text me telling me that he wasn't going to be getting it fixed before we got there.  I wasn't really sure why because a)he doesn't really text, literally prior to him texting me to tell me this he never responded to a single text I sent him (which really wasn't many just a couple trying to figure out the whole hotel v. Ryan's ordeal) & b)all our plans were finalized so I didn't really know why it mattered that we wouldn't be able to talk on facebook in the week before we were leaving.  But whatever.  We then literally text each other every single day up until a few days after we got home from spring break (that fact does matter ha).

So we eventually get to Ryan's & he is going to take us out to try the bull balls I mentioned in my recap of spring break.  We are also going to meet his girlfriend.  I was definitely intrigued because of all of the complaining he had been doing since the beginning of their relationship & the fact that just a few weeks before we went out there I jokingly asked if they were going to get married soon so I could go to another CO wedding & he responded with something to the effect of "at this rate we aren't even going to be together by the time you guys get out here."  Needless to say they were still together when we got out there & still are together to this day.

Back to the girlfriend.  That girl is a straight up bitch.  I do see her side of things where she might feel possibly uncomfortable or whatnot due to the fact that three strange girls were staying at her boyfriend's place but I'm sorry, that does not give you the right to be a bitch.  We were all super nice to her & introduced ourselves, trying to ease her mind because I do get it.  Weird situation to be in.  Her response to our introductions: a snotty toned "not gonna remember that" which she then preceeded to point at Kayla & say you're Kayla right and then to me annnnd you're Meagan.  Ummm no I'm not actually.  So we go into the bar to have dinner & from there on out (meaning the entire rest of the time we were in Colorado not just at the restaurant) she was constantly picking stupid little fights, trying to control what he did, and answered every question/comment directed at him for him.  (That's basically the summary of her bitchyness because I could literally create a whole lengthy blog just on the specifics of her meaness from the short time we were in Colorado).

So we leave Colorado & we continue to text daily for a few days & then it was just a few times through text & a couple times on facebook.  Neither lasting more than a couple minutes.  Now, I would just like to preface my following frustrations with I do not expect or need to talk to him daily.  At this point in time we have not spoken a work to each other in a good 2 weeks.  I feel like we are right back to the him ignoring everyone, me?, again.  I was down right pissed off for awhile, & I'm still annoyed but I'm at the point where I'm just like really? You're that kind of person?  Eff you.  He can't even use the excuse that he's too busy or hates going on facebook because if you recall we used to talk daily on facebook & he is on a rotating shift where he had 5 days on 5 days off so it's not like he's always working. 

I know I sound completely needy/whiny/whatever.  Clearly I am mostly pissed off because I now actually realize how much I like the kid & have for quite awhile, he is with a girl who I have never heard him say one nice thing about, I miss the way things used to be, & that I just want to go all Meradith Grey and scream "pick me, choose me, love me"  (If you've never watched Grey's Anatomy you can YouTube that clip if you so desire.)

So basically now I'm in a keep your moth shut about how you feel about him & her because it doesn't matter anyway & if it's meant to be it'll happen kind of phase.  So that's my drama.  Sadly, as long as this was, that's the shortened, I know I've left stuff out version.  Also, thank you & congratulations if you've actually read it all. 

God I've missed blogging.

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