Thursday, April 5, 2018

Writing Back To Me

I don't recall if I did it with my first two 101 in 1001 lists or not, I could very easily go look but I'm too lazy & it doesn't really matter.  When I started my 3rd 101 in 1001 list I wrote myself a letter to open on the last day of it.  When I read that letter I both laughed & cried.  I was going to leave it just for me, but then I wanted to be able to remember my reaction to said letter.  So, rather than just tuck it away somewhere, I'm going to share my original letter & my response with all of you.

June 29, 2015

Brianne - 

I'm sure a lot has happened in the past 2 years & 9 months.  I sure hope it has.  In just 7 months you'l be 30.  I sure hope you're a lot more ok with that than I am about being 4 months away from 27.  27?!  That seems so... not old but like a mature age.  I certainly don't feel like I have my shit together enough to be nearly 27.  I hope we've done a lot better with this list than we did with the first 2.  Most importantly I hope we own a home & have fallen in for real love.  I would love it if we find our way back to [Mr. Oklahoma].  If not, I hope you're laughing as you read that because you've moved on & found someone better.  I'll be starting a brand now job at Lake Worth HS in August & getting a brand new roommate.  I hope that unless you've moved for love, you're still working there & loving it.  I hope that you're still friends with [roommate] too but please don't still be living with her.  You're almost 30... unless you're renting to someone please don't have a roommate.  No matter what has happened... I hope you're genuinely happy.

-Bri

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March 24, 2018

Brianne - 

A lot certainly did happen over the past 2 years & 9 months.  That includes 3 jobs changes, 2 address changes, & 1 new car.  I am more than okay with being almost 30.  In fact, I'm ready for 30.  I still don't think I always have my shit together but spoiler alert, no one has it together all the time.  Sorry to disappoint you but list 3 was by far the worst. 

Another disappointment to you, still in an apartment & still single.  However, the only "roommate" is Nash, the greatest, although at the time irresponsible, decision I've ever made.  He is the cutest pain in the ass ever & I can't imagine life without a puppy anymore. 

As for love, Mr. Oklahoma wound up calling 3 months after that letter was written & told me he loved me but that he felt like he had to do the right thing.  We spoke only once after that & very briefly.  Then there was Mr. Midwest who after 9 months couldn't decide what he wanted.  Sadly, I still think about him far too often.  It is slowly starting to go away though finally.  There was Mr. Overseas who I really thought was the one but turned out to be one of the worst decisions of my life.  Although he did in a round about way bring Trey into my life.  And while Trey didn't work out the way I originally thought, he has been an awesome friend who also brought Raeann into my life, who has turned out to be one of the people I hang out with the most.  And most importantly, as of right now anyway, Raeann recently brought someone new into my life who I really like and hope that it eventually goes somewhere with.  This time around though, no trying to rush or force anything.  We've grown up some & learned lots of lessons from all of those guys that it didn't work out with so just one day at a time this time around.

Lake Worth lasted all of a year & it was the worst year of teaching/coaching ever.  That job caused more tears & stress than all three years in Houston combined.  Some great co-workers came out of it though, & Emily, who is the reason Nash came into the picture, is still a really great friend.  The district that I'm currently teaching & coaching in though I truly do love & work with some really fun and awesome people who have also become friends.

I didn't stay friends with roommate because I never became friends with roommate.  That year wound up being the most awkward living situation ever when her boyfriend moved in temporarily & then just never left.  At least Emily lived at the same complex so I had somewhere to escape to all the time.
Despite not being where you hoped I'd be at this point, I am happy.

-Bri

2 comments:

  1. oh goodness. what a turbulent couple of years when you put it all together like that. i love that you wrote yourself a letter and shared your reaction here. you're right though, no-one has their shit together. and all the shit 22/25/27 year old me thought i wanted for myself at 30 or 35, life always works out the way it's supposed to, and younger selves are normally idiots anyway (well, mine sure was lol). and Nash is definitely the best roommate!

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  2. Isn't it strange the path that life takes us on? These letters to your future self are so clever though - don't stop!

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