Disasters In Dating Vol. 3

It's been a couple of months since I last shared some of my disasters in dating.  I actually gave up on dating for awhile so this is pretty much just the awful messages & WTF pictures that I've come across while online dating.  I currently have 5 apps on my phone: Plenty of Fish, Tinder, OkCupid, Match, & Bumble.  I'm pretty new to Bumble but it's sort of like Tinder except for that only girls can message first & each party has 24 hours to respond before the match disappears.  I was on Eharmony a long time ago but I hated it.  In the whatever number of months subscription I had...3?  6?  I don't remember.  I didn't meet/come across a single person I connected with.  Anyway, onto the good stuff.

This guy looked vaguely familiar when I matched with him on Bumble.  And, then he used the gay guys bought me drinks line & I thought ok this really seems familiar.  And then he asked me if I would have saved him & I was like I KNEW HE SEEMED FAMILIAR.  I don't remember if it was Tinder or POF but I had talked to this guy MONTHS ago. A)get a new story B)get a way better story

No thank you.

Well aren't we the presumptuous one...

That escalated quickly...

Yes because that's who I would like to father my children someday...a man with a "your throat here" tattoo... 

Why is this ok?  Very few guys say this shit in real life so why is it ok online?

This weirdo kept talking about his mom's thong bikini.  I got a very Bates Motel vibe.