Back To Chicago & Matchy Matchy Soulmate Time

The final 2 days are going to be combined for your sanity & mine.  Plus, at this point things weren't nearly as eventful.

Day 4

It happened!  We woke up at the ass crack of dawn!  The alarm went off & we were up.  With a 9.5 hour drive ahead of us we didn't have a choice.  By now though you should know that it took us longer than 9.5 hours to get to our destination of Chicago.  On the bright side though we gained an hour going from TN to IL.

Remember Frick & Frack from the previous recap post?  Well apparently Kickass Cousin & I caught a case of the basics from them because this happened...

Starbucks selfie complete with duck lips.

After we ate our breakfast & got our caffeine fix it was smooth sailing.  Just kidding.  That would be too easy.  If it hadn't been for that caffeine I might have gotten a whole lot stabbier.  Traffic was a bitch.  Why Chattanooga?  Why?  There was construction up the ass when we were there 3 years ago too.  Due to construction, and accidents probably due partially to construction, we stopped moving.

Just like the previous day, we spent a lot of time bobbing in & out of Georgia/Tennessee while winding through the mountains.  At least this time we got to drive through them during the day & the views were gorgeous.

I'm about to omit a large portion of our day right here.  We spent roughly 5 hours in hell on Earth.  No pictures were taken as there was nothing to take pictures of.  There were no stops made because we didn't want to get stuck there.  And because we vowed to never speak of the suck hole that is Indiana again...I just saved you a lot of reading.  Like I said...it was an uneventful drive.  I spared you Kentucky too because the only thing that happened there was we managed to stop at the exact same gas station in the ghetto in Louisville that we did 3 years ago.  Both times we took a random exit to get into Louisville.  Both times we wound up in the ghetto.

(Bloggers everywhere when they realize they won't have to read about 7 hours of my day)

Finally we made it to Chicago!  We were supposed to meet up with a friend of mine but #BecauseItsTheCup & a couple other events that came up...that never happened.  Being in Chicago during the Stanley Cup was it's own adventure.  Mostly in that I kept throwing shade at unsuspecting strangers who even mentioned the cup or got all happy over the Hawks #WildFan #ForeverBitter

My Chicago friend, GC, told us that we had to try Chicago dogs at Portillo's.  We were so hungry & so that was our first stop post check in.  They were so good!  I could definitely get behind a loaded hot dog.  I didn't even miss the ketchup.  After Portillo's we ubered to Millenium Park.  God bless our Uber driver for putting up with our giggling.  We checked out the fountain & then just walked along Lake Michigan.

We weren't quite hungry yet & were enjoying our walk around Lake Michigan so we walked out onto a pier to do nothing other than take ridiculous selfies.  I may or may not have also pretended to fly around like a bird because we get obnoxious when we're together...but in a fun way I swear!

Turns out flapping around like a bird & taking far too many selfies makes one hungry so we were off on a mission to find Giordano's.  The only reason we were in Chicago in the first place.  Ok not the only reason but the biggest reason.  We found one on Navy Pier & rather than waste an uber we kept walking there.  This walk included a slightly sketchy walk up some stairs & across a bridge which led to a view that was incredibly worth it.

We walked the entire length of Navy Pier & could not find it!  Neither of us was starving yet so we just walked around the pier enjoying live music & the views of the lake at night.  It turned out to be an awesome twist of fate that we didn't find Giordano's immediately because if we had we would've missed the gorgeous fireworks display.  After the fireworks ended we made the walk back down the pier & finally found it.  We got the meat & more meat because we were curious about this whole meat sweats thing that people talk about.  Eating one piece of stuffed pizza though fills you up & luckily neither of us got said meat sweats.  After we finished we waited for our Uber to arrive.  During the wait we saw shit go down.  Some crazy dumb ass got out of his car, started yelling at a cab driver to move, (who wasn't even in his way & had been there for all of 30 flippin seconds waiting for his 3 passengers to get in the car.)  This yelling led to both of them yelling, which led to the dumb ass walking up to the cab driver, shoving him out of the way, getting in his cab, driving it maybe 3-5 feet forward, & slamming on the brakes causing the passengers to slam their heads on the seats/windshield in front of them.  We watched this nonsense go down for a bit until our driver showed up while the off duty rent a cop did approximately nothing... & finally our Uber driver was like "yeah...we're gonna leave now..."  We fell asleep almost instantly once returning to our hotel. 

Day 5

The day to drive home had arrived.  We had appointments in Madison, WI to get tattoos at noon, which is only about 2 hours from Chicago, so we slept in just a little & then headed towards Madison so we could get some brunch before that tattoos.  I was so nervous for my tattoo because I knew that the foot was one of the most painful & I had almost given up part way through the one on my rib cage.  It hurt because all tattoos hurt to some degree, anyone that tells you any different is a damned liar.  It wasn't anything that couldn't be handled though.  I had to fake a pain face because Kickass Cousin was not happy with the fact that I sat there just breathing through it & playing on my phone while she had genuine faces of pain during hers.  In my defense, I already had the one on my rib cage which hurt 100x more, & it was my 6th tattoo vs her 2nd so I knew how to breathe through it & more of what to expect.  Mine also took maybe 5 flippin minutes.  I'm pretty sure the tiny star outline I have on my wrist took longer.

Mine is the one that says "Faith when I fall" & hers says "Strength when I'm standing"  They are back to back lyrics in the Kip Moore song Faith When I Fall.

Edit: Kickass Cousin would like me to mention her badassery.  However, I cannot tell a lie.  She turned into a stabby bitch during her tattoo which only made me laugh more.  At one point, when debating whether I should roll up both pant legs or just the tattooed one she said, & I quote "I don't give a fuck what you do with your pants."  According to her it's my fault that she was in pain because I made her laugh & therefore she "couldn't zen.  She just couldn't even.  Literally."

After the tattoos we were off to find 13 Dead End Drive in Jim Wells, WI.  Back when we were I don't know how old, and my mom's side of the family still drew names for Christmas, Kickass Cousin, one of our other cousins, & I all drew each other and got each other the board game 13 Dead End Drive.  We found Dead End Drive...and all of the house numbers started with 13 but the actual house numbers were 13xxx.  Sort of fail, sort of not,  We didn't stop again until Minnesota... well except for a bathroom break.  Once in Minnesota it was time for a Chipotle stop.  I still had a couple of gift cards so it was a basically free late lunch/early supper.  After Chipotle I dropped her off at her house, drove the hour to my house, & passed the eff out.

And that my friends is the finale of Road Trip 2.0

Tomorrow I have Shit Said on Road Trips & then it is completely over.  Womp womp