Sh*t People Say On Road Trips

*Arriving at Chipotle in a fairly nice suburb*
Bri: Since we're in Woodbury, I'll put my bra on.

*Hanging out near Lake Michigan*
Kickass Cousin: These geese have brought us to meet more family than our last few boyfriends combined.

*Honestly...I don't even remember how this would've come up*
Bri: If a girl shits in Canada & doesn't Instagram it, did it really happen?

*After meeting Frick & Frack*

Kickass Cousin: How do you spell South Minnesota?
Bri: I-O-W-A

*Looking at an Airstream*
Kickass Cousin: That's a little big for my taste
Bri: That's NEVER what she said

*After leaving Rock City & Ruby Falls & making tons of nature comments*
Kickass Cousin: Do you think we ruined nature for people?

Bri: Nature ruined nature.

*Seeing a sign for Lover's Leap at Rock City*
Kickass Cousin: We don't have lovers so we shall leap!

*Entering the nature trail at Rock City*
Bri: Nothing says natural quite like a track of nature sounds playing on the nature trail

Bri: I'm more concerned with finding Chipotle than our safety.

Kickass Couin: How convenient that my favorite animal is a sea cow & yours is a land manatee!

*Jim Hull talking about his religious philosophy*
Jim Hull: I'm glad I wasn't born a tree

*The tour guide talking about Ruby Falls inside of a cave*
Tour Guide: We don't know where the water comes from & quite frankly we don't care

*Seeing an eagle statue at Rock City*
Kickass Cousin: Look!  Nature's eagle!
Bri: Nature really does have eagles.  You're not funny...


*Talking about funerals & such after passing a cemetery*
Bri: When I die just throw my ashes to the wind.  Just make sure you throw it the right way so you don't breathe them in.
Kickass Cousin: I could just snort them so you're always a part of me,
Bri: Why do things always take such a left turn with you??


*Some kid in a truck behind us had his bass WAY too high*
Kickass Cousin: I can feel it in my teeth
Bri: I can feel it in my ass...and I don't like it...it's too aggressive.