The Fireman Saga Continues

I don't want this to be the only thing my blog becomes about so I don't know how often I'll actually hit publish but I do know that I want to record as much of it as possible so that I don't forget all of the details.  Also, because I need to get it out & I've pretty much stopped talking to my friends about it most of the time because I'm pretty sure they're all fairly sick of hearing about the ups & downs of what is & what isn't going on between the two of us.  I know they all think I'm crazy for still holding on when there's nothing concrete there.  I figure this way I can vent & if y'all don't have to read it you don't actually have to.

Monday

Mr. Fireman & I went to an early showing of Anchorman 2.  For the record it was funny but obviously not as good as the first one but I digress.  On the way to the movie we were talking about our weekends & he was saying how he went on a Harley ride with some friends that he really wanted to take me on but they called him while he was sleeping & told him that they were at such & such a spot and to meet them somewhere else.  He said it was so last minute that they were actually pulling out of the parking lot as he was pulling in.  Right before the movie started he decided he was starving, which was alright with me because so was I.  He came back with a popcorn to share & a drink which I assumed was a Dr. Pepper for him.  I was half right.  It was Dr. Pepper (the man is addicted) but he whipped out 2 straws.  It took everything in my not to laugh.  Ok maybe I laughed a little because he apologized.  Honestly I thought the whole thing was cute.  So we sat there eating our popcorn, drinking our Dr. Pepper, & being those annoying people in the theater.  It's a good thing that there were only 5 other people in the entire theater & 3 had left early because while we're not loud we're definitely those people that talk about the movie, during the movie.  

After the movie we went to get Buffalo Wild Wings to indulge in our shared obsession with hot wings & cold beer.  Unfortunately we had forgotten about the fact that Monday was the BCS Championship...for those of you that have ever been to a BWW during any major sporting event you know there is no seating...So me being the genius that I am suggested we get wings to go & then catch up on some more Breaking Bad.  (Our goal was to watch the entire series before The Walking Dead comes back on...which isn't going to happen if I'm being honest.  That is 32 days away & we are only somewhere in season 2...there's 5 seasons for those of you that have never seen it.)  Somehow we managed to score a table & so the host brought us our to go box to the table while it was ready.  Mr. Fireman acted like an excited little kid watching the game while I made faces with an actual little kid at the booth behind us.  I assumed since we got a table to eat our wings we would just go our separate ways once we got back to his house but instead we ended up watching 2 more episodes of BB before I finally had to call it quits & head home because we both had to be up early the next day for work.

Tuesday

He messaged me again on that website that morning asking how I had slept. (I honestly have no clue as to why we're talking on there rather than texting.  Actually it's sort of a weird combo of the two but it's mostly online...I even asked him why & he said "hmm I'm not sure"...ok...) After work I went to the gym & then since he was working at his part-time job that's just a couple blocks from my apartment he came to pick up an old ipod I said he could have.  We talked for a few minutes & then he hugged me goodbye so he could go to the gym with his brother.  Later that night we were talking again (online go figure...as I'm typing this it seems sorta fishy although there would be no real reason for fishiness...idk what do y'all think) we talked about random non-sense & there was some major flirting going on.  Finally I told him I was going to take something to help me sleep & then headed off to bed.  Around 3 am I was wide awake so as usually I went to play on my phone.  He saw I was online & apparently he couldn't sleep either so we spent the next hour talking before I passed out again.  

Wednesday

I wasn't going to message him...we had just seen each other 2 days in a row & had been talking every day since I got back on Friday.  Plus, I've been really good for the most part at making him be the one to contact me first.  But then I had something random that I wanted to tell him & figured what the hell...it's not like I'm the one that's contacting him all the time & bugging him...lately it's mostly been him contacting me.  We talked off and on throughout the day but not a whole lot since we were both working.  That night he seemed a little off.  Not his normal upbeat self...and it got me being the over thinker that I am thinking maybe something was wrong.  He was responding & even starting some of the conversations but not a whole lot and his responses were just sort of flat.  But instead of not bringing it up & spending the rest of forever over analyzing & worrying like I always do I just decided to point blank ask him if something was wrong because he seemed a little off today.  He said he was fine, that he was just tired, which is completely understandable since I'm pretty sure he was awake before I was at 3 & even if he passed out again at 4 like I did he had to be up less than an hour later for a 24 hour shift...and he said he hadn't taken a nap at all during the day...that he was holding out until 9 to just go to bed.  **(Side note: a new goal of mine for this year is definitely going to be stop over analyzing shit so much because it's fucking annoying for everyone involved...myself included).  Apparently neither of us could sleep (despite him being on a nicer bed than normal & me trying melatonin) because around 1 am he started talking to me about how much this not sleeping thing sucked. We talked for about an hour when I realized that that's what relaxede.  After about an hour both of us had passed out again.

That being said...I'm going to keep doing what I've been doing for the most part while letting him sort his shit out & give him some space...let him come to me.  Until Sunday that is ha.  He told me on Monday that if I really wanted to wash my car not to pay for it, to just go to his house & do it...that I could even wax it!  So as long as Mr. Fireman doesn't get called in for an OT shift, or isn't working one of his PT jobs (seriously the man has a FT Firefighting job...Where he works plenty of OT...and now 2 PT Firefighting jobs...) My baby is getting washed and waxed!  Plus, more Breaking Bad will happen... One more month until The Walking Dead!

Also, said it before and I'll say it again...hate blogging on my phone! Thank God mostwas done on my computer the last little bit just didn't save.