Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Your Story Isn't Over Yet

Originally I was going to link up with Andrea today for the Fall Fashion Frenzy.  The theme this week is favorite jeans & I am that psychopath that lives in jeans.  Like I have slept in jeans & will relax on the couch in jeans.  I. LOVE. JEANS!  However, I didn't really have anything prepared, and even though I did take a picture in my favorite jeans this morning, I still wasn't motivated to create a whole post about it.  You should definitely still check out Andrea's post & The Blended Blog link-up because again, jeans are life!

For the record my favorite pair of jeans are Ariat brand that I got on major sale at Cavenders.  They're super comfy, boot cut, & make my butt look great.

Short story long I decided I just wasn't going to post today because I only had a half ass post about jeans.  But then I was reminded on Instagram that it was World Mental Health today & I was reminded about M's post about how she does self care & Teh Megan's post about accepting your struggle & I wanted to share a little as well.

I try to keep it pretty real on here on a regular basis so it's no secret that a couple weeks ago I started seeing a therapist.  She is awesome.  I have struggled with anxiety since at least high school if not longer.  High school is just when it became more apparent.  There was a point in college, my sophomore year when I was living with an ex-boyfriend, when it got really bad.  I had contemplated off & on since then about going to see someone.  That's nearly a decade of contemplating.  I've always been able to calm myself down eventually though & so I never went in.  Finally this year I decided what the hell.  I wanted/needed to talk to someone because I have been feeling extra stuck.  I don't know where I want to live, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up, I'm not hating my life but I'm not loving it either.  When it comes to the major things I was/am feeling like I'm just going through the motions.  I go to work because I have to & there are parts/people I like but I certainly don't love it.  I live where I live because it's cheap & a nice area but it's not even remotely the type of place I'd like to be.  So I decided I needed help talking through all of my options.  Staying in education, getting out of education.  Staying in my district, going to a new district.  Staying in the DFW area or going back to Houston.  Staying in Texas or going back to MN.  There are pros & cons to all of them and my inability to make a decision had been making my anxiety go bonkers.

So after a decade plus of taking care of my anxiety on my own, here are some of my favorite ways to decompress & bring myself back down to Earth:

-Listen to music, LOUD

-Dance around my apartment like a crazy person...bonus points if Nash is willing to dance with me

-Nash cuddles

-Getting in my car and driving... on the open road (traffic just makes me stabby)

-Windows down, music up

-Closing my eyes & breathing

-Calling my mama or daddy

-Going for a walk


-Planning things.  It doesn't matter what (a hypothetical trip, different career paths, how to make a move work... planning is my jam)

-Get shit done.  AKA distract myself by being productive (dishes, laundry, cleaning)

-Drink coffee or tea


  1. First, you rock! That is wonderful that you found a therapist that you like. It's hard to find a good one. I can totally relate to making decision as I too struggle with that. Take it one day at a time. Hugs!!

  2. Thanks for sharing this!!! So glad you finally decided to reach out for help! That action alone is so freeing! Congrats! Hugs

  3. The biggest thing that brings my anxiety down is accomplishing small tasks. Those little things that nag and nag at my brain. Once out of the way, I can usually plow through some big things like a boss.

  4. YES, so much this. My anxiety became more apparent in high school too, and I was never in therapy until inpatient sort of forced me into it. I have no idea what I'm doing with my life and often feel like I'm just going through the motions too. So... solidarity, I guess?

  5. Those jeans do look really good on you. I'm proud of you for doing things that you need to do to take care of you. It's so hard to prioritize that, especially now... but you really have to. Sending you peace and positive vibes as you try to figure out what you want to do next. <3